Right now I’m trying not to pay attention to the raw tender feeling enveloping my esophagus. Turns out the discomfort in my throat I felt a few days ago was not acid reflux, but was actually the stirrings of a mild throat infection/cold or something.
I hate when I’m sick—especially when my throat is sore, because I feel like a her whose been sapped of his main ability. It just don’t feel right.
I’m mostly hoping I’m all better tomorrow so that I’m in full health for when Tom S. comes by, and presumably spends the night.
Lately I’ve felt like the female avatar in Harvest Moon, busy with chores and responsibilities and the seasons, but really underneath it all I’m planning for marriage… or really just acknowledging the selection of men in my life right now. It’s like, “well, I could get with the miner—he’s really attractive, but idk if we have much in common [but he’s a working actor and he’s super supportive and adorable]… or I could get with the wizard—he’s really cool and mysterious, but he’s super busy and I don’t get to see him very often [because he lives in Berlin most of the year]…or I could get with the fisherman [who gives me the best sex I’ve had in years…but that’s about it for now].”
Choices, choices…. I just want something definitive before they all find out about each other and I end up hurting them.
My therapist says it’s good that I’m dating three people at once. Yes you heard that right. My therapist is encouraging me. I have a tendency to jump into relationships, so this is a way of stretching myself (literally and figuratively), before I make a quick decision that I might regret.
Ugh I want my throat to be back to normal. I should probably go to sleep soon.